I’m recently returned from the RACI National Congress in Adelaide. I’ve had time to reflect. Herein lies my feels
- construction noise during the plenaries OHNOES
- every. single. plenary. speaker. HUZZAH
- sessions that ran over time OHNOES
- sessions that kept to time, or ran early! HUZZAH
- paying the convention centre $120 to get wifi that actually worked OHNOES
- well run, quite fun student quiz night HUZZAH
- being on the first non-podium finishing table at the student quiz night OHNOES
- Baran’s biceps HUZZAH
- approaching a prof to talk about my work, he is interested and asks if I have any papers on it. I say no. Realise later that I have two OHNOES
- meeting and catching up with colleagues and sharing a corporate whinge HUZZAH
- not even seeing at least 7 people that I wanted to talk to OHNOES
- accidentally getting in line for coffee next to someone I definitely did not want to talk to OHNOES
- plenary speakers making themselves available for lunch time Q&A sessions with students HUZZAH
- not getting much of a dinner at the conference dinner OHNOES
- getting too much of the champagne at the conference dinner OHNOES
- watching my boss dance at the conference dinner OHNOES
- meeting or catching up with all the super cool people who came to the #RACI14 tweetup HUZZAH
- not punching in the face the obnoxious undergrad who struck up a conversation with me, then insulted my home town, alma mater, employer and research OHNOES
- the surprisingly useful congress app HUZZAH
- seeing comic sans in 3 presentations OHNOES
- delivering a reasonably OK oral presentation HUZZAH
- learning about super cool new scients HUZZAH
- meeting a lot of rad scients doers HUZZAH
- coming home to this cool doge HUZZAH
Dwarf Prof and 200 Solemn Faces Students by Ben Folds Five – Aug 7
September ’75 my H-index was not that high
My dean said by Christmas I would have
A research group all of my own
All these little minds to blow
I still had to teach 1st year class
Now I’m big and important
One angry prof and 200 solemn students are you
If you realy want to see me
Check in Nature and Angewandte
Look who’s telling who what to do
Always by Bon Jovi – Aug 15
this compound’s not crystallising
it just looks like tar or mud
it’s nothing but some atoms
this imposter cooked up
it’s been refluxing for eternity
now I’m drowning in black gunk
you see I’ve always been analytical
but with synthesis, I give up
see I can’t make a molecule
like the way it’s meant to be
well I guess I’m not that good a chemist
but baby that’s just me
DNAB by Lily Allen – Aug 25
sitting at my bench in the lab all day
my experiments are in crisis
it doesn’t get me down and I feel OK
cos the skills that I’m gaining are priceless
everything seems to look as it should
but I wonder what goes on out of doors
laughter and some chatter but it doesn’t really matter
I’ll be stuck here for several hours more
you might laugh, you might frown
walking around the lab town
sun is in the sky oh why oh why would I want to be anywhere else
Every Day Should be a
Holiday Science Day by Dandy Warhols – Sep 16
Super cool, science rules OK
Got no dough cos no grants came my way
Anytime, call me up if you
Got a job, in a permanent way
Baby let’s go
Should be a science day
When You’re Gone by Bryan Adams and Mel C – Sep 28
(for @upulie and burger ring aromas)
I’ve been wandering around the lab all night
Got experiments to do
And I’m trying to concentrate but all I can think of is food
Yeah the phone don’t ring everyone’s gone home
I don’t mind being all alone
But I’m working with this DTT reagent that reminds me of food
U Can’t Touch This by MC Hammer – Sep 29
Stop. Retention time
Go with the flow in helium if you can’t separate this
Then you probably are dead
So inject sample be aware
Bust through the column, run your compounds through the air
This is it for a paper
Plot out this and you’re gonna see vapour
Move slide your rump
Just for a minute integrate the bumps
Bump bump bump yeah
Welcome to the (Jargon) Jungle by Guns N Roses – Oct 2
Welcome to the jargon jungle
We like to abbreviate
We’ve got everything you want
If you only knew the names
We are the people that can find
Whatever you may need
If you only knew the name for it
We call it something weird
Something About the Way You
Look Tonight Crystallise by Elton John – Oct 7
There was a time
I tried everything and nothing would happen
For many weeks
I tried all of the solvents under the sun
I need to tell you
How I scratched and scraped the bottom of the flask
But in frustration
I just chucked you in a cupboard in the dark
And I can’t explain
But it’s something about the way you crystallise
Takes my breath away
It’s that feeling I get about acicular types
And I can’t describe
But it’s something about the way you crystallise
Takes my breath away
The way you crystallise
Don’t Ask Me Why by Billy Joel – Oct 20
All the electrons in your molecule
Leave their orbitals when you blink
Every reaction you do every day
Every product down the sink
Don’t wait for answers
Just take your chances
Don’t ask me why
This past weekend, a Facebook post from a beauty studio was shared into my timeline. The post contained the erroneous claim that one of their product lines was “chemical free”. I’m not going to go into why this is a ridiculous statement, the likelihood is if you’re reading this blog you’re already well across why that is a ridiculous statement. Usually when I see these kind of things online I go into immediate #headdesk #facepalm or #otherhashtag mode, rant briefly about it on Twitter, #lesigh and then move on. For some reason this time I decided to engage with the post, which you can see below.
If you can’t see the pic, here’s the comments
[me] It’s not “chemical free”, the main ingredients are the chemicals phyllosilicates and zinc and titanium oxides which are safe and harmless when used as makeup.
[beauty studio] Inika is 100% vegan or certified organic.or both.They are cruelty free .Inika products contain no harsh chemicals. no talc,bismuth oxychloride or harmful preservatives, fillers, mineral oils, fragrance or petrochemicals. It is suitable for all skin types including those with allergies or sensitivities.
[beauty studio] To reply to Ren’ee [sic] Webster I don’t think there is any cosmetics on the market that is completely chemical free. They all have to have preservatives. Inika state that the products are natural.
There’s been bucketloads of discussion over the years about how to go about addressing chemophobia online, including whether this is even a good term for the phenomenon. So with all of this previous information in mind, I thought that I’d put out a reasonable response. But as you can see from the reply I could not claim that I succeeded. So I guess I’m wondering a few things:
- could my comment have been put differently such that the recipient would get what I was trying to say? Is my comment polite, not condescending and clear or am I deluded about my civility and actually a hard-arsed bitch?
- the chemical =/= natural false dichotomy rears its head again, should I have anticipated this?
- are people fully aware of the fact that EVERYTHING IS CHEMICALS but just using a shortcut when they say “chemical free” because saying “vegan, certified organic, cruelty free, no talc, bismuth oxychloride,preservatives, fillers, mineral oils, fragrance or petrochemicals” is too cumbersome and unwieldy?
- is there any point trying to engage with strangers online in this (or any) context ever?
- WHAT THE ACTUAL EFF DO PEOPLE REALLY MEAN WHEN THEY CALL THINGS “CHEMICALS”? It seems to change to suit whatever they feel applies given the context. Is it up to us to figure this out?
- why do we even bother? (rhetorical question, mostly)
Finally, I feel it’s important to mention that is was the beauty studio selling the products, NOT the manufacturer who made the “chemical free” claim.
I had an interesting experience recently regarding some media coverage of my work. Readers of this blog will remember my Vegemite aroma analysis from June last year, which at the time got a nice amount of media attention, notably this Guardian article and this interview on ABC radio.
On October 6th (AEDST), I became aware through a Google Alert I have on my own name (narcissist, who me?), that the UK publication Chromatography Today had picked up on the Vegemite work and written an article in their ‘Breaking News’ section. 16 months old is quite a loose interpretation of breaking news in my opinion but hey whatever.
I thought it a little strange that they had gone ahead and written this article without even contacting me, but I’m a bit of a noob when it comes to media coverage and whatnot so I’m not really sure if this is normal or not. Once I read the article I could see that there were a few errors contained within, the major one being that they’d said I did the work on Marmite. Can you believe it, Marmite? That horrid stuff? As if!
Anyway, there was a link off to the right hand side of the article to “Request more information” so I submitted a little thingamajig there pointing out the mistakes and asking for them to be corrected, receiving only this automated reply.
I also contacted the @Chromtoday Twitter account, even though it had not tweeted for over 2 months.
Then I waited. After 5 days I still hadn’t received a reply through either of these channels to I sent the following email to the generic info email account of Chromatography Today. I recognised that my initial reactions were made in the heat of the moment, and maybe I had not been as courteous as I could have, so my aim was to be polite and civil in my email communication. In order of importance (to me) the changes I requested were:
- Correcting Marmite to Vegemite
- Removal of the false assertion that this work is part of my PhD studies
- A link back to the original work here on this blog
- Correction of typographical/methodological errors
Again I received no response, this time I waited 9 days before taking the next step. With a bit of Google-fu I was able to find the personal email addresses of several employees of the company that produces Chromatography Today. This information was publicly available by a Google search, I didn’t do anything special other than to select the right search terms. So I sent to all of these employees pretty much the same email I’d sent to the generic account earlier, slightly modified to explain that I hadn’t received any responses from my prior enquiries.
Hours after I sent THAT email, I get a response! Finally!
And then this the following day.
GREAT RIGHT? Well, let’s have a look at the changes they made using the compare feature in Word
- Correcting Marmite to Vegemite KINDA YEP (in the text only not the title)
- Removal of the false assertion that this work is part of my PhD studies YEP
- A link back to the original work here on this blog NOPE NOPITY NOPE
- Correction of typographical/methodological errors YEP
Well, I’m not going to take this any further but I can’t say I’m fully satisfied with this outcome. I still feel like it is quite bad manners to not link back to the original source but this is over for me now, I’m not putting any more effort into pursuing this. As always, opinions and stuff welcome here and on the twoots.
I recently competed in two rounds of the Monash University 3 Minute Thesis competition, for more info on what 3MT is go here. I love the idea of 3MT and have been keen on participating for a couple of years now. Last year I didn’t feel quite ready, and wasn’t 100% happy with the idea I’d come up with so I didn’t end up entering. But this year – I had a great idea and I was ready man, so READY.
I’ve also been on a serious mission to improve my public speaking skills following an epically disastrous talk at ANU late last year. I’ve tried to take up all of the speaking opportunities that come up for me, and I joined the local branch of Toastmasters which has really helped as well. Simply practising public speaking in one form or another with a minimum frequency of once per fortnight has definitely accelerated my improvement.
The School of Chemistry Finals
When I showed up on the day, five contestants had become three and the order of presenters had been rearranged so that I was no longer first, but last. I’d had a dastardly cold/flu thing complete with fever and aches for about a week, so I was not in the best form of my life. Thankfully, the lecture theatre and lighting was set up such that I had to stand behind the lectern in order for the microphone to pick up my husky, disease-ridden voice. Under the circumstances, I was quite happy in the safe haven behind the lectern but still delivered my 3MT rather quickly, coming in ~25 seconds under time, including two bouts of coughing.
Despite the length and my rather deadpan delivery, I was still reasonably confident of getting through to the next round. Feedback from the judges suggested my presentation required more ‘scientific depth’ and although they did acknowledge my temporary otolaryngological disability, commented that my delivery could’ve been more authoritative and punchy. Fair enough.
To address the critiques from the school finals, I removed one kind of wishy-washy sentence from the script, replacing it with two longer sentences explaining the principles and advantages of gas chromatographic separations (ooh, so scientifically deep man). I also practised – A LOT. Punchy, authoritative delivery I am all over you.
The Faculty of Science Finals
Having mostly recovered from my sickness, on the day of the faculty finals I was about 50:50 nerves and confidence. Surprisingly, I was the only female contestant and also clearly the oldest (so damn old, these kids are like 22 years old how do they even scients). This time we were miked up so I didn’t have to worry about being trapped behind the lectern. There was however, a non-moving spotlight. Here is where I’ll let you watch the video and watch me twitch like a twitchy twitchface who wants to walk around, practised walking around, planned to walk around but is trapped in the spotlight to twitch away for three twitchtastic minutes.
I WANT TO BREAK FREE
So yeah, clearly I had a problem. The feedback from the faculty judges was that they loved my story, but the delivery was distracting. DANG. So annoyed. I know I can do better than this. See you next year, 3MT.
Title and author
Much Ado About Practically Nothing by David Fisher
What’s it about?
Nobel gases, the group 18(VIII) elements. What you will not find in this book is any information on the most often quoted uses of noble gases, cooling and lighting. The author focuses on isotope geochemistry for dating of rocks, meteorites and whatnot.
What are the good bits?
I’m a little bit ashamed to say that even as a chemist (who should know better), I thought the noble gases were a teensy bit boring and this book might be too. It wasn’t! And it’s proper good, not just good because I thought it was going to be bad and then it wasn’t.
What are the not-so-good bits?
There are a couple of places where in my opinion, the author is overly critical on a personal level, of other scientists. It left me feeling a bit awkward and uncomfortable.
What does it say on p54 line 14?
“I heard Bohr lecture once. Or rather I saw him lecture; I heard very little and understood absolutely nothing. His head was bowed and turned almost obsessively to the blackboard, on which he wrote tiny, barely legible mathematical symbols, and he whispered to the blackboard in a thick Danish accent.“
My 3rd year thermodynamics lecturer must have seen Bohr lecture too, and modelled his lecturing style on the Dane…
Who should read it?
I’d recommend the reader to be literate in a little chemistry and/or physics or they may become lost in the science, which primarily deals with isotopes.
How good is it?
It’s good, a different perspective on an old topic and a worthwhile read if you happen to come across it.
3.5 mortar and pestles out of 5
It’s time for another edition (edition 1 here) of “songs posted on twitter that I have reappropriated with stupid science lyrics“. Please enjoy/roll eyes/headdesk as appropriate. I’ve included YouTube links to the original songs this time, for those who don’t share my refined and highly sophisticated tastes in music.
Wuthering Heights Synchrotron Nights by Kate Bush – March 28
Out on the circley, light source floors
You diffract the x-ray beam
You had to work nights
I had jealousy
Too late, too sciencey
How could you leave me
When I wanted to
Watch BSG with you
I hated you, I loved you too
Bad dreams in the night
They told me it was just a really bright light
Leave me behind on synchrotron, synchrotron, synchrotron nights
Heathcliff, it’s me Cathy
Please come home
I’m so bored, let me watch that TV show
Just the Way You Are Be a Chromatographer by Billy Joel – March 25
Don’t go swagin’
To try and seal me
I’ve never sprung a leak before
I don’t imagine
You’ll lose your helium
I’d might not seal you anymore
I would not leak you
In times of trouble
We never could have flowed this far
I’ll take the noble gas, I’ll take the bad air
So you can be a chromatographer
Where the Streets Peaks Have No Name by U2 – May 13
I want to run I want to find
I want to identify the molecules that show up as ions
I want to reach out and touch the flame
Where the peaks have no name
I want to feel, the oven vent on my face
I see my sample disappear without a trace
I want to take shelter from the unknowns, shame
Where the peaks have no name
Nightswimming Titrating by REM – May 27
Deserves a quiet lab
The standard solution in the fumehood
Made up years ago
Turned around backwards cos the label’s gone
Reveals the indicator changes
The endpoint’s so much clearer
I forgot my labcoat at the benches edge
The burette’s low on titrand
You May Be Right by Billy Joel – June 10
Friday night I smashed your flasky
Saturday I said I’m sorry
Sunday came and trashed glassware again
It was just a reaction
Wasn’t hurting anyone
And we all worked through the weekend so no change
I’ve been stranded in the no yield zone
I walked the mass spec room alone
Even solved the NMR shifts in the rain
And you told me not to characterise
But I made the white crystalline
So you said that only proves that I’m insane
You may be right
I may be crazy
But it just may be the molecule I’m looking for
Turn out the lights
Turn on the UV
You may be wrong for all I know
But you may be right
Young and Beautiful Topical by Lana Del Rey – June 25
Will you still cite me
When I’m no longer young and topical
Will you still cite me
When I am nothing but historical
I know you will
Heart Nanoparticle of Gold by Neil Young – July 1
I’ve been to Stanford
I’ve been to Harvard
I’ve crossed the ocean for a nanoparticle of gold
It’s citrate stabilised
It’s such a small size
Keeps me searching for a nanoparticle of gold
And I’m getting old
Running on Cooking Up Ice by Billy Joel – July 10
There’s a lot of tension in my home
The cancer’s building up inside of me
I’ve got all the symptoms & the side effects
Of imminent mortality
It’s not hard to understand that
My blue crystals are superior
In a world of pregnant wife and teenage son
My motives are ulterior
So I decided to start cooking up ice
Paying the price too long
Killing and scheming cos I’m cooking up ice
Where did my life go wrong