A Boundless Dorkery of Chemistry Songs

Reading back my tweets in shame
Whoa oh oh ahhh oh
And the world’s gonna know I’m lame
Whoa oh oh ahhh oh.



My twitter followers might have caught one or two of my tweets where I take a pop song and change the words to make it it chemistry themed. If this is not definitive proof of my boundless dorkery, I don’t know what is. I’m going to start collecting them together in blog posts before twitter eats them into oblivion (because some have already been lost and the world is certainly poorer for it). I find inspiration for these songs all around me, in fact it’s quite possible that I might be a creative genius. Now if only I could be this brilliant when it came to my science…


Monsters Ghost Peaks by Something for Kate: March 21, 2014

I was sitting in the lab of chromatography
Waiting to discover something about some fuel
I couldn’t find my compounds
And I couldn’t separate them
It was like trying to think in reverse
And I don’t want to rinse a non-crosslinked phase
And I don’t want to inject acid or base
But these ghost peaks follow me around
Hunting me down
And I can’t bake them out
Bake them out


Scenes from an Italian Restaurant Chemistry Laboratory by Billy Joel: March 18, 2014

Alkyl nitrite, chlorophenol red
Perhaps a solvent wash bottle instead
We’ll get a fumehood near the sink
In our old familiar place
You and I face to face
Ruthenium red, sodium sulphite
It all depends on your reaction tonight
I’ll meet you any time you please
In our chem laboratory


Blame Myself by Sky Ferrera: March 14, 2014

How could you know what it feels like
For analytes to coelute
You think I’d learn to dilute
How could you know what it feels like
When your analysis is moot
Chromatographic pursuit
I just want you to realise
I blame I blame I blame myself
For this separation


Elevation Separation by U2: March 12, 2014

A mix
What I can see is nix
Very complex matrix
Maybe you can separate my kind
Explain these controls
Can’t isolate the whole
The goal


The (Tungsten) Wire by Haim: March 6, 2014

You know I’m bad at mass spec detection
It’s the hardest thing for me to do
And it’s said it’s the most important part
The analytes go through
And I’d give it all away
Just so I could say that
I know I know I know I know
That you can detect them another way

You know there’s no rhyme or reason
To the way you fragment for me
I didn’t change the ionisation source
Not intentionally
I know it’s hard for me to say it
But I can’t bear to stay and
I just know I know I know I know
That I can’t detect them another way


Royals Chemists by Lorde: March 1, 2014

I’ve never seen an atom in the flesh
I cut my teeth on retort rings in laboratories
And I’m not proud of synthesis
In the round bottom flask
No percent yield envy

But everybody’s like solvents, test tubes, shimming in the spec room
Chromate stains, lab coats, spills in the weighing room
We don’t care, we’re winning Nobel Prizes in our dreams

But everybody’s like crystals, rotavaps, diamonds on IR machines
Ring strain, science, analysis of gold beads
We don’t care, we aren’t caught up in a boat or chair

And we’ll never be chemists (chemists)
It don’t run in our blood
Those electrons ain’t for us
We crave a different kind of buzz


Riptide by Vance Joy: February 18, 2014

I was scared of Schlenk lines and the Shark
I was scared of arrow curls and starting new reactions
Oh all my friends do synthesis


Buy Me a Pony by Spiderbait: February 12, 2014

Don’t you wanna be
Doing chromatography
Or mass spectrometry
But you’ll never make it if you can’t separate it


One More Time by Britney Spears: January 15, 2014

Radiation is killing me (and I)
I must confess I still believe (still believe)
When I found radium I lost my mind
Give me a prize
Nobel me baby one more time


Roar Pour by Katy Perry:  January 4, 2014

I’ve got the eye of a chemist, menace,
Dancing through the premise
Cos I am a scientist
And you’re gonna watch me pour


Any sciencey singers out there who want to join me in some kind of Bernie Taupin/Elton John-esque type relationship? We could be amaze.

6 Comments on “A Boundless Dorkery of Chemistry Songs”

  1. Miranda Robinson says:

    you are so fking funny.

  2. “A dorkery of chemists”. I like it.

  3. Do you have any friends in Alpha Chi Sigma? The book of “fraternity knowledge” (not secrets, so you could borrow it) that new initiates get has some really crazy chemistry songs in it that you’d probably enjoy reading. Some even have the music written out. For example, someone back in the day changed all of the words to “The Jabberwocky” to make it about “The Physical Chem” and it is great.

  4. […] time for another edition (edition 1 here) of “songs posted on twitter that I have reappropriated with stupid science lyrics“. […]

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