Silly Science Songs 3rd Edition

One Angry Dwarf Prof and 200 Solemn Faces Students by Ben Folds Five – Aug 7

September ’75 my H-index was not that high
My dean said by Christmas I would have
A research group all of my own
All these little minds to blow
I still had to teach 1st year class
Now I’m big and important
One angry prof and 200 solemn students are you
If you realy want to see me
Check in Nature and Angewandte
Look who’s telling who what to do

 

 

Always by Bon Jovi – Aug 15

this compound’s not crystallising
it just looks like tar or mud
it’s nothing but some atoms
this imposter cooked up
it’s been refluxing for eternity
now I’m drowning in black gunk
you see I’ve always been analytical
but with synthesis, I give up
see I can’t make a molecule
like the way it’s meant to be
well I guess I’m not that good a chemist
but baby that’s just me

 

 

LDNAB by Lily Allen – Aug 25

sitting at my bench in the lab all day
my experiments are in crisis
it doesn’t get me down and I feel OK
cos the skills that I’m gaining are priceless
everything seems to look as it should
but I wonder what goes on out of doors
laughter and some chatter but it doesn’t really matter
I’ll be stuck here for several hours more
you might laugh, you might frown
walking around the lab town
sun is in the sky oh why oh why would I want to be anywhere else

 

Every Day Should be a Holiday Science Day by Dandy Warhols – Sep 16

Super cool, science rules OK
Got no dough cos no grants came my way
Anytime, call me up if you
Got a job, in a permanent way
Any time
Baby let’s go
Every day
Should be a science day

 

 

When You’re Gone by Bryan Adams and Mel C – Sep 28
(for @upulie and burger ring aromas)

I’ve been wandering around the lab all night
Got experiments to do
And I’m trying to concentrate but all I can think of is food
Yeah the phone don’t ring everyone’s gone home
I don’t mind being all alone
But I’m working with this DTT reagent that reminds me of food

 

 

U Can’t Touch This by MC Hammer – Sep 29

Stop. Retention time
Go with the flow in helium if you can’t separate this
Then you probably are dead
So inject sample be aware
Bust through the column, run your compounds through the air
This is it for a paper
Plot out this and you’re gonna see vapour
Move slide your rump
Just for a minute integrate the bumps
Bump bump bump yeah

 

 

Welcome to the (Jargon) Jungle by Guns N Roses – Oct 2

Welcome to the jargon jungle
We like to abbreviate
We’ve got everything you want
If you only knew the names
We are the people that can find
Whatever you may need
If you only knew the name for it
We call it something weird

 

 

Something About the Way You Look Tonight Crystallise by Elton John – Oct 7

There was a time
I tried everything and nothing would happen
For many weeks
I tried all of the solvents under the sun
I need to tell you
How I scratched and scraped the bottom of the flask
But in frustration
I just chucked you in a cupboard in the dark
And I can’t explain
But it’s something about the way you crystallise
Takes my breath away
It’s that feeling I get about acicular types
And I can’t describe
But it’s something about the way you crystallise
Takes my breath away
The way you crystallise

 

 

Don’t Ask Me Why by Billy Joel – Oct 20

All the electrons in your molecule
Leave their orbitals when you blink
Every reaction you do every day
Every product down the sink
Don’t wait for answers
Just take your chances
Don’t ask me why



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